My Alfa 145 was brilliant. Well, the engine, gearbox, steering and suspension were. It’s the other bits that let it down. Trivial things like windscreen wipers, washers, headlights, and indicators not working. And, the central locking, the gauges, and the dashboard warning lights only functioning occasionally. And, electric windows working when you didn’t want them to. Oh, and the weather-proofing and trim falling off when you slammed doors or went over a bump.

Funnily enough, Danielle’s father didn’t like it. That was because you could attach the word “fun” to it. Saab drivers don’t like “fun”.

He decided that my choice of transport was “not suitable”, and he bought “us” a 2007 Ford Focus.

When he and Marcia used to wave goodbye to us, I was tempted to slam it in to reverse. It would have made for a great news story on Cefax. You can make-up your own headline.

Thanks to Doix for the picture

Bonnet up - there’s a surprise